Megaman Stupid Network
by Darkcomet
Summary: A parody of Megaman Battle Network. Chapter 7 Between a Rock and a Hard Place. It's a fight to the death! Megaman vs. Stoneman!
1. Stupid Network

Chapter 1

Stupid Network

Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Megaman universe

"Lan...Lan...LAN!" A voice screamed in a child's room.

"AHHH!" Screamed a brown haired boy as he fell out of his bed.

"About damn time you woke up I've ben yelling for five minuets." said the voice coming from his room again.

"Well I was having a dream...it was awesome so leave me alone." The boy said

"Well good for you, by the way you are late...again" The voice said sounding a tad annoyed.

"Shit...that could be bad...I hope I don't get detention."Said the boy as he picked up a small device with a screen on it. The screen turned on and there was a boy about his size in the screen.

"Lan you will...you always do, that is why we don't stay up all night on the net when everyone else goes to sleep." the boy on the screen said.

"Hey Megaman...you...why don't you...your mom!" Lan said feeling intelligent on that comeback.

"My mom is your mom...dumbass." Megaman said rolling his eyes, it had been the hundredth time he had heard that come back, it didn't accomplish it's goal on the first try and it made him die a little inside every time Lan tried it.

"Your just jealous you aren't as smart as me." Lan said feeling victory.

"Yeah...sure why not, just get dressed and get to school genius." Megaman said not wanting this to go the way it inevitable always does...yo' mama jokes.

Lan got dressed and tried his hardest to sneak past his mother who was bitching about the oven not working...and when mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy, so Lan made it to the door slipped his shoes on that also had wheels in case he needed to run. He walked outside and saw his next door neighbor waiting for him.

"So you slept late again eh?" a pink haired girl said.

"Mayl if you complain everyday about me waking up late why do you wait?" Lan asked.

"It's obvious isn't it?" Mayl said blushing.

"No...now I can see if we were going out or something...but come on what are the chances of that happening!" Lan said laughing as Megaman just put his head in his hand and then shake his head.

"Yeah...that would be silly." Mayl said feeling a little upset...for obvious reasons.

"Well let's get walking." Lan said as they started walking down the sidewalk twords school.

Lan is in fifth grade he is a lazy bum who is late to school everyday and never does his homework. Megaman his net navi is almost the exact opposite he is active and tries to get Lan to do work, but as you have seen it never works. Lan's dad is never home he is always doing research on unspecified things involving programs and the net. Lan's mom stays home and does house work and cooks...pretty much all you need to know about her. Mayl, Lan's best friend has an obvious crush on him but him being a complete idiot is oblivious to it. She also has a net navi it is a girl wearing a pink outfit named roll who likes Megaman, but unlike Lan he realizes it and acknowledges it.

"Hey Mega how long do you think it will take for dodo up there to finally realize what Mayl is getting at?" Roll asked on a private link that the humans can't hear.

"Well...I've still got a bet on six years but hey it could be even longer." Megaman said frustrated at his operators idiocy.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Hey moron you've got mail." Megaman said.

"Open it then." Lan said.

"It is from Yai. It says don't worry I covered for you during attendance." Megaman read out loud.

"O.K. then we had better hurry because despite our teacher being incompetent to a lot of things I'm pretty sure she can tell my voice apart from a toddler's" Lan said as Mayl and him rushed on.

When they arrived everybody was standing up and walking around.

"Good she hasn't showed up yet, guess I got lucky this morning." Lan thought.

He walked around and talked to random people who seem to say most of the same things their entire lives until he cam across Dex a rather large child wearing a green shirt and blue shorts.

"Hey punk I want to battle!" Dex yelled.

"Dex we go through this everyday, you want to battle, the battle starts, megaman beats Gutsman's ass silly, tell me why do you think today will be any different." Lan said annoyed at always being challenged by this challenge.

"Hey yo' what did that brown haired bitch say about me gettin' my ass beat!" Gut's man yelled from inside the device.

"Wow I can never get over the fact that despite how small the P.E.T. something that large can fit in there...but your not very smart so I guess it doesn't take up a lot of memory" Megaman said mocking Gutsman.

"Hey you little blue bitch say that to my face!" Gutsman yelled.

"I just did...and I pretty much do everyday and you have yet to shut me up." Megaman smirked.

"That's it netbattle time!" Dex yelled.

Ding Dong Ding Dong

"Damn, just wait till after class." Dex said as he got in his seat.

"Right" Lan said as he got in his seat as their teacher Mrs. Mari walked in.

"Lan you were late, do you really think I can't tell your voice apart from the tiniest girl in class?"She asked.

"I was hoping you couldn't but hey what can I say I tried." Lan said.

"I just hope we never have to rely on you to save the world or anything." She said.

"Yeah you guy's would be screwed, especially if I had to do it more than once." Lan said as the entire class laughed.

"You are right, was a silly thing to say...what was I talking about?" Mrs. Mari said clueless.

"You were talking about what a good student I am and how I turned in my homework yesterday and you gave mew an A on it." Lan said.

"Yeah...that seems right." She said as she turned to the board and started the lesson.

"How does that always work?" Megaman asked.

"I don't know but hey it does so why not abuse her kindness." Lan said.

"Alright everyone now for no real purpose I want you guys to say your name and something interesting about yourself." Mrs. Mari said.

"My name is Yai and I am the richest one here." said the girl the size of a five year old with an enormous forehead said.

"My name is Mayl and I would say to some people I am a loyal person who would never cheat on you or make you feel bad." Mayl said.

"My name is Dex and I am the strongest netbattler here." He said as the entire class laughed.

"My name is Lan and I AM the strongest netbattler here also I can never understand what the hell Mayl is talking about." Lan said.

"Well that is everyone who matters, the rest of you...you fail because you aren't important enough to have names. Mrs. Mari said.

"Well does that mean we can leave now?" Lan said.

"After you take the test." She said.

"Damn it." Lan said.

"Now everyone jack into you desk." she said.

"Your just lucky no one from long ago is here or they would totally be freaked out by what you just said." Lan chuckled.

Inside the school network there was a large bulking navi hunched over, one sophisticated one with what looked like blades coming out of his shoulders, Roll, Megaman, and a lot of others who didn't have distinguishing features.

"O.K. class we test you virus busting skills." Mrs. Mari said.

"Why...I mean we now I'm the best so can I just leave?" Megaman asked.

"NO NOW FIGHT!" She screamed as Megaman was put in a place made of tiles where he saw a small creature with a hard hat on

"Mettaur" it said.

"What is this thing some sort of Pokemon with a pick axe?" Megaman asked.

"No that would be scarier than hell. But pick up you cannon A chip." She said.

"Can't I just pick all of my chips and unleash holy war on this thing?" Megaman asked.

"No only Officials can do that." she said.

"But those guys are the most incompetent morons on the planet, when there is a problem they show up to help but only make it worse and they only have generic navis." Lan screamed outside.

"Just do it you little bastard." Mrs. Mari screamed.

"Geeze what a bitch" Lan said putting in the Cannon A chip. Which Megaman used and killed the Mettaur in one shot.

"Good, now only 99 of those things left." Mrs. Mari said.

"DAMN!" Lan screamed.

8 hours later.

"Lan how did you finish so quickly?" Mayl said as they walked home.

"Because Mayl I kick ass" Lan said full of himself.

"Don't you mean I kick ass?" Megaman said.

"Ah, your just a program who never existed until dad created you" Lan said.

"Yeah...sure, I never existed...asshole." Megaman said.

"But that test got grueling, I mean when am I ever going to need to know how to fight an elemental virus, a giant wold like dog thing, the internet its self, a giant robot hell bent on blowing up earth with a meteor, a demon program, and some ancient cyber beasts. Really when am I ever going to need that?" Lan said.

"Who knows" Mayl said.

"Well here we are at my house...the only thing keeping me sane is that I know today can't get any worse...let alone change the course of my life forever." Lan said chuckling.

"Yeah that is a safe bet." Mayl said as she leaned in for a kiss.

"Well later." Lan said as he went inside and shut the door.

"Sigh out of all the boys that I could live next to, I get the dumbest." Mayl said as she walked into her own house.

Meanwhile in a darkened room.

"Finally I will have my vengeance on this world!" an old man yelled.

"How are you going to do that sir?" a man with a Jacket that has lights on it said.

"The only way I know how by committing seemingly petty random acts of cyber and real terrorism in order to get the four element programs in order to create my ultimate weapon." The old man said.

"Great plan Boss!" a lady with pink hair said.

"Yes and no man, woman, or child of my mortal enemy can stop me. MWUHAHAHAHAHA!" the old man laughed.

"Great!" said the girl with the pink hair.

"Coincidently the first program lies in my mortal enemies house so I sent Mr. Match to take care of them." He said.

"Oh is he going to kill them?" the glowing guy asked.

"Better." The old man said.

"Kidnap their child!" the girl with the pink hair said.

"Even better." the old man said.

"What could be better than kidnap and murder?" The glowing dude asked.

"He is going to go undercover and ack like he is going fix their oven, get the program and then light the oven on fire!" the old man finally burst with excitement.

"...Wow when you said random acts of terrorism you weren't joking" The glowing guy said again.

"And nothing could go wrong, it is flawless. Absolutely nothing anyone who lives there can do. Not even the child that lives there, he could never do anything to harm my operation. MWUHAHAHAHAHA!" The old man laughed.

END OF CHAPTER

Well after a few years of writing Silent Hill stuff I figured something different couldn't hurt, the first chapter isn't very good but it will get better as it goes. But will this oven fire really be enough to stop Lan and Megaman? No probably not but hey it is still rather suspenseful right...right. Point taken anyway please review and tell me what you thought.


	2. Into the Oven

Chapter 2

Into the Oven

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is Megaman or otherwise

Lan had just walked into his house when his Mom hollered to him.

"Lan is that you, I hired a repair man to fix the oven stay out of his way, go play in your room or something." She said from another room Lan can never seem to locate in his own house.

"I mean I know I have a room, but where do Mom and Dad sleep?" Lan wondered, the thought had always scared him a little.

"Hey little dude what is up?" A somewhat tall red haired mad said across the room in a weird hippie voice.

"Uhhh...hi" Lan said wondering if that was the repair man.

"My name is the repair man, my name is Match" Match said.

"You mean match as in light it on fire match?" Lan asked.

"Yeah man." He answered in his hippie voice.

"Do you really think you should be working on an oven then?" Lan asked a little concern.

"Don't worry dude I am a trained professional." Match said with pride.

"Right...well good luck." Lan said and he meant it, I mean if the oven caught fire who knows what would happen.

"Hey dude by the way...your Mom is hot anyway I could hook up with her?" Match asked.

"No you weird hippie freak!" Lan said disgusted by the remark storming into his room.

"Harsh man." Match said.

"So let me get this straight a guy named match is working on the oven?" Megaman asked.

"Yep and I was told to stay out of the way so that means I am going to make you go onto the net." Lan said.

"Well after the virus busting today I wouldn't expect you to give me an hours rest or anything nice like that" Megaman said sarcastically.

"You sure as hell shouldn't expect a rest...Jack in Megaman execute!" Lan said while jumping in the air.

"Lan...why do you always do that? It makes you look like an idiot." Megaman said.

"I said the magic words get your ass in the computer." Lan said.

"Fine." Megaman said going in.

The net was a simple place small, and I mean small walkways, and everything else is pink.

"Hey lan I've always wondered. What would happen if I fell of the side of one of these narrow walkways?" Megaman asked his operator.

"I don't know, I guess you would be sent to Navi hell where Satan's navi and his little virus demons would torture you for all eternity, why?" Lan asked.

"No reason...note to self request bigger walkways with next net update." Megaman said, saying the last bit in his head.

Megaman walked around for awhile and eventually stumbled across Glyde, Yai's navi.

"Oh good afternoon mr. Megaman have you by any chance seen a program lying around anywhere?" Glyde asked, he had a high profile British voice.

"No, Can't say that I have, why?" Megaman inquired.

"Well it is Miss Yai's and I can't have her thinking I am some sort of regular everyday navi, going around and losing things regularly" Glyde said.

"But you do lose stuff regularly." Megaman said.

"But she doesn't know that and that is how I want it to stay, so will you help me?" Glyde asked.

"Sure, really don't have anything better to do, and besides trying to make Lan do his homework is not something I am up for today anyway." Megaman sat off and started to wander around the net and came across a program it was in front of Dex's homepage.

"Oh that's right I was supposed to netbattle Gutsman...Hey fatass get out so I can beat you up real quick!" Megaman yelled at the entrance to Dex's Homepage was.

"Hey what do you want ya' little bitch can't you see I was sleeping'." Gutsman said.

"I should have know you forgetful ape, we were supposed to battle, get over here so I can beat you senseless." Megaman said.

"All right then." Gutsman said as raised his arms and they were both transported to the familiar tiled room where all battle commence.

"All right you little blue bitch I is gonna kill you." Gutsman said.

"Man you are really spirited today huh?" Megaman said picking some chips.

"Guts smash!" He yelled and smashed the ground, sending an easily avoidable shockwave.

"Whoo." Megaman said sarcastically.

"Scared ya' huh you little bastard." Gutsman said.

"Sure, whatever eases the pain." Megaman said.

"What pain?" Gutsman asked.

"This one!" Megaman yelled as he shot Gutsman with three consecutive cannon blasts and then cut him with a sword.

"Ow...fine you little punk I will beat you some day." Gutsman said jacking out.

"Whatever you say you big dumb ape." Megaman said picking up the program. When Gutsman jacked back in.

"Hey shorty we still on for the chat tonight?" Gutsman asked.

"Providing nothing unforseen happens, yeah." Megaman said.

"All right, later." Gutsman said jacking back out.

"He is such an idiot." Megaman said as he made his way back to Glyde.

"Here you go." Megaman said handing Glyde the program.

"Oh thank you very Much Mr. Megaman!" Glyde exclaimed.

"Right well I'm getting off for a little while." Megaman said.

"Alright see you later." Glyde said as Megaman jacked out.

Back in the real world.

"Hmm...why do I smell smoke?" Lan said. He walked into his kitchen and saw that the oven was on fire.

"Oh you crazed hippie bastard!" Lan yelled as he ran across the room.

"Dude, you like, totally busted me." Match said standing up in shock.

"Busted you for what being incompetent?" Lan said confused.

"No for like impersonating a repair man so I could come into your house steal an element program and then attempt to burn the evidence for one of your families mortal enemies." Match said.

"Huh?" Lan said confused.

"It doesn't matter though because you will like...never catch me." Match said as he ran and hit the wall knocking himself out.

"Well at least the arsonist was a dumbass." Lan said.

"Lan jack me into the oven and I can put out the fire." Megaman said.

"How would that work?" Las asked because the plan made no sense.

"Lan it's common sense that if you put out the virtual fire then the real fire will get scared of being alone and leave...remember that for future references." Megaman said.

"Whatever you say you suicidal computer program. Jack in Megman Execute!" Lan said jumping in the air again.

"And when I come out...we need to have a talk." Megaman said as he was sent into the oven. He looked over and saw a green rabbit like computer program sitting on the ground.

"We don't have any virus protection." The program said.

"Well why not?" Megaman asked annoyed at this programs stupidity.

"Well who would have thought than an oven would catch fire?" It asked. Megaman just stared blankly at the program.

"What?" It asked.

"Never mind do you have anything than can stop the fire?" Megaman asked.

"Well...you could take this" The program said sliding out a Super Soaker water gun.

"Your not serious, shouldn't there be several of you and every time I see one I should get a water program to put out the fire program?" Lan asked.

"No. What the hell do you think this is a video game or something, I swear you kids." It said as it passed out.

"Fine, I'll do this the very awkward way."Megaman said as he walked around and sprayed the fire with the digital Super Soaker until he reached the biggest fire of them all.

"I don't think I have enough water to put this out. Oh well nice knowing you Lan I hope my next operator isn't as dumb as you." Megaman said.

"Just try to put the fire out." Lan said.

"Alright but no promises." Megaman said. As he was about to shoot the fire.

"Stop right there!" Yelled a voice.

"What who is there?" Megaman asked when suddenly a red navi with what looked kin of like a grey mask covering his face and fire on his head appeared.

"I'm Fireman!" Fireman yelled like a drill Sargent.

"Oh thank goodness, go ahead and put out the fire." Megaman yelled.

"Not A Fire man, Fireman!" He yelled again.

"I'm missing the point here." Megaman said.

"I started the fire!" He yelled again.

"What are you disgruntled or something?" Megaman asked.

"What! You little bastard!" He yelled as he shot fire and missed Megaman completely.

"Well that was eventful." Megaman chuckled.

"The only way to put this fire out is to beat me!" Fireman yelled.

"Oh...well at least this wont be boring." Megaman said as they randomly appeared in the same tiled room where all battles happen.

"Time to die bitch!" Fireman yelled as he shot his fire. Megman promptly moved out of the way.

"Well this may be harder than I imagined." Megaman said getting up and ready to fight.

END OF CHAPTER.

Hey I got a chapter up quick this time...hard to believe knowing me. I had quite a few hits to this story in the first day which was pretty awesome, I haven't had a response this big since the ending of "This Room Sucks", so I felt the need to update. So if you like the chapter please review and let me know, or if you have any ideas for later navi's you can tell me. If this story gets enough fans I will may make this a series. But that is getting ahead of myself. So until next time. Please Review.


	3. Megaman the Fireman Fighter

Chapter 3

Megaman the Fireman fighter

Disclaimer: Don't think I own anything in Megaman because I don't

"Boy are you ready to be burnt to a cris!" Fireman yelled

"No not really but that jerk off on the outside is making me fight you so he can prolong his own pathetic life, so if it will get him off my case I guess I am going to have to kill you" Megaman said in a tone where you could tell he would have rather been somewhere else.

"You aren't taking me seriously are you!" Fireman yelled in a maddening fury.

"No...you look dumber than Gutsman actually" Megaman said already bored.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHH!" Fireman yelled as he shot a streak of fire at Megaman but completely missed without Megaman having to move.

"Wow and here I thought you couldn't get any worse...but I stand corrected" Megaman said.

"Shut up that was a warning shot!" Fireman yelled.

"Right what ever you say moron" Megaman said as he shot Fireman square in the chest.

"You bastard!" Fireman yelled in pain.

"Hey I only started, you should have thought about who's house you were going to burn down you dumb pyromaniac asshole!" Megaman yelled mockingly.

"You! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Fireman yelled.

"Now I get to have some fun." Megaman said as he awaited Fireman to attack.

"FIRE!" Fireman yelled as he shot more fire only this was coming straight at Megaman, he promptly rolled out of the way. Fireman noticing this started to blast fire in all directions.

"Shit I really need to learn to just kill things instead of mocking them" Megaman said as he began to run like crazy to dodge the fire.

"That's right burn it hell!" Fireman yelled as fire began to build around him.

"Hey Megaman I think your screwed...I got no chips to send you." Lan said.

"WHAT!?" Megaman yelled in shock.

"Well I left them in my room and now I can't reach them...because of the fire...it is burning in front of the door." Lan said.

"Your just to damn lazy to get them aren't you?" Megaman asked.

"Yeah" Lan said.

"Bastard. Well let me see how can I kill him, with just my buster and feet...I have an idea." Megaman said as he suddenly bum rushed Fireman even stepping on his panels.

"No you cheating bastard you can't walk on these it is my area!" Fireman yelled.

"Screw your rules this is how I roll!" Megaman screamed as he ran up and kicked Fireman in the face. As fireman fell to the ground he looked up and saw Megaman pointing his buster at him.

"Shit...my only regret is that I never saw London." Fireman said before he hit the ground.

"Taste hot digital plasma lead bitch!" Megaman yelled as he started unloading on Fireman's face with a flurry shots.

"Holy shit I didn't know you could be so brutal." Lan said.

"Forget the chips again and this will be you." Megaman pointed at what used to be Fireman which was now a pile of ashes.

"Umm...Jackout MEgaman the fire has miraculously vanished following the death of Fireman defying all laws of physics, logic, and plain common sense." Lan said.

"Then another mission has been accomplished" Megaman said as he jacked out.

"Whoa man harsh!" Match said.

"Oh look the dumbass awakens" Lan said rolling his eyes.

"Dude what happened to all the fire?" Match said.

"The mystical elves of the forest came and put it out." Lan said being a smart ass.

"Damn those elves I knew they couldn't leave me alone!" Match yelled.

"I was joking" Lan said a little concerned.

"Yeah...me too, just testing you." Match said.

"Well I'm pretty sure the police are on their way so it wont be long before you make a very large man in prison very happy." Lan said.

"Even if that is my destiny I have still accomplished what I came here to do, and that is kill everyone in this house." Match said.

"We are still alive." Lan said.

"Wait...man I must be tripping or something...oh yeah the program...and sent." Match said.

"Wait what?" Lan said.

"Soon a war is going to begin...it is going to be rad" Match said.

"What do you mean?" Lan asked.

"My master is going to kill everyone on earth...not sure why but that dude is awesome!" Match said.

"You do realize that means you too right?" Lan asked.

"Nah man you aren't getting it I am with him...so I'm not going to die." Match said.

"Right whatever you say moron." Lan said.

"By the way what is that over there" Match said pointing across the house.

"Where?" Lan asked looking around.

"HAH Later dude!" Match said running out the front door and away from the house, but not before tripping over various things in the yard.

"Damn I got tripped by a pot smoking hippie." Lan said upset.

A few hours later.

"So your saying a red headed hippie came in here and tried to burn down your house, then mentioned something about a program and a war?" A random police man asked Lan.

"Yes damn it how hard is it to understand?" Lan said annoyed.

"It just seems rather odd." The police man said. While in the distance Lan was being watched.

"So that hippie that tried to kill them do you think it was Match?" Asked another random police officer.

"I am almost certain that it was...I mean how many red headed hippie pyromaniacs are there in the world?" said a boy not much older than lan with very odd colored hair it was white in the center and black all around it.

"But Chaud...if that were true how could that boy have beaten a WWW operative?" The officer asked.

"It's obvious...Match was an idiot" Chaud said staring on at Lan.

"Sir why are you staring at that kid?" The officer asked.

"I am interested in him." Chaud said.

"I could ask him if he is seeing anyone" The officer said.

"Not like that you idiot...there is something...well just something about him that makes me think he is going to be important." Chaud said.

"I understand that you need to hide your feelings sir but..." He was cut off when Chaud punched him in the mouth.

"Like I was saying we need to keep a close eye on him...just for observation before you open you stupid mouth again" Chaud said a little angry at what the officer was implying.

"Right...sir do you think I am going to be important?" The officer asked.

"No don't think I will see you again after today...which is good for me." Chaud said walking off.

"Douchebag." The officer said.

A few days later.

"Yes I want another...WAH!" Lan said waking up.

"Thank god...if you had went any further with that dream I would have killed myself." Megaman said.

"What time is it?" Lan asked.

"You have five minuets" Megaman said.

"You bastard why didn't you wake me?" Lan asked.

"Because I love watching the teacher yell at you for being late." Megaman chuckled.

"Asshole...today is going to suck" Lan said.

"Nonsense it isn't like you school is going to be taken hostage by a hostel virgin geek or anything." Megaman said trying to cheer Lan up.

"Yeah that would be out right stupid." Lan said chuckling.

Meanwhile in the dark lair.

"Dr. Wily!" said the woman with the pink hair.

"What is it?" Wily said a little upset.

"We have finally finished downloading the program Match sent." She said.

"Excellent!" Wily said.

"But Fireman was killed and Match is nowhere to found." She said.

"So I get what I want and both of those idiots are out of my hair...how could this day get any better?" Wily said.

"We also have reports that Higsby is making his move today" She said.

"It just got better. Wait is he the weird virgin geek we hired by giving him some pokemon cards?" Wily asked.

"Yes sir." She said.

"Those school children won't know what hit them...by the way how did Fireman die?" Wily asked.

"He was killed by that boy and his navi." She said.

"So that boy is combat able eh? Well we will see how he handles himself today...but first." Wily picked up a phone.

"Hello" Said the voice on the other end.

"Yes...is your refrigerator running?" Wily asked.

"Yeah, why?" The person asked.

"Well you had better go catch it!" Wily yelled and hung up the phone and went into a fit of laughter.

"Damn those unlisted numbers...one of these days I am going to catch you, you damn prank caller." Lan said putting away his PET as he walked into school.

END OF CHAPTER

Well it turns out I am not so lazy...I hope everybody enjoyed this chapter, it has been awhile. But my spring break is in two weeks so that is great news and hopefully I will get a few chapters up during that week off. I have this feature in my Silent Hill story where you can ask characters questions and in the next chapter they will be answered, A feature that is now here as well so if you have a question you feel the need to ask one of your favorite characters so far please do so in the review or private message. So please review and I will see you all next time.


	4. Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind

Megaman Stupid Network

Chapter 4

Close Encounters of the Nerd Kind

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this chapter

"Why am I always late?" Lan said walking quietly through the school.

"It's because you are a lazy ass who can't be relied on for anything." Megaman said.

"Hey, who stopped that fire?" Lan asked.

"I did…you moron, due a very stupid law of the universe where if something happens on the Internet it happens in real life as well." Megaman said.

"How does that work again?" Lan asked.

"If you paid attention in class you wouldn't have to ask me five times a day…now sneak in there, I'll just be doing…navi things in here" Megaman said then going quite.

"Sometimes I wonder if advancing the Internet was such a good idea…now if we had made robots instead, that would have no dire consequences at all." Lan thought to himself as he snuck into class. He sat in the middle and was crawling up to his chair…surprisingly he made it without getting caught.

"YES! I AM THE SNEAKIEST MAN ALIVE!" He yelled out loud upon reaching his chair…everyone just stared at him, including the teacher.

"I'm sure you are Lan, by the way I take that as a confession and will be seeing you in detention after school." Ms. Mari said.

"Damn…I probably should have just stayed quiet." Lan thought to himself again.

"Now students, we have an assistant teacher who is going to be helping me for the next few weeks, mostly because I'm tired of teaching a bunch of idiots and this guy is willing to for chump change, meet Mr. Higsby!" Ms. Mari said, as a man with a white shirt, a tie, blue jeans, and glasses, not to mention some of the wackiest hair known to man.

"Hi, kids my name is Higsby huh." Higsby said.

"Did you jut say huh? I hope you know your own name." a random kid in the front row said.

"As my first act of assistant teacher I fail this kid and require him to take this class again next year and sending a message to his parents that they take away everything he owns huh." Higsby said as the kid began to cry at his desk.

"See Timmy that is what happens when you try to be a smart ass" Ms. Mari said.

"Now for a little info on me. My name is Higsby and I like collecting trading cards, comics, and just about anything that has to do with anime or video games huh. I also like to write yaoi with my favorite pairing being Zero and Sigma…" Higsby said before he was interrupted

"Who are they?" Dex asked.

"It's not important you ignorant child huh. Anyway before I was rudely interrupted, I was going to say that my favorite hobby is to collect battle chips, sometimes I like to get all of my battle chips together put them in my bathtub and get naked to feel them all over me…of course I have to make sure mother isn't home she would not approve of such behavior but I'm a grown man damn it! Huh." Higsby said going off on a tangent. The class just stared in disbelief at the man they saw before him.

"You seem like such a nice man…weird, but nice." Ms. Mari said.

"Would you like to come back to my place sometime, so I can show you my collection of Death Note action figures, then we could do the nasty huh. We would just have to be quite as to not wake mother huh." Higsby said.

"Mr. Higsby I don't think any one would be able to get me that drunk." Ms. Mari said with a smile.

"I see huh" Higsby said trying to hold back tears.

"OK children homeroom is over, talk amongst your selves. I'm going outside to have a cigarette, care to join me Mr. Higsby?" Ms. Mari asked trying to be nice after rejection him.

"Oh, no thanks I don't smoke huh." Higsby said.

"Pussy." Ms. Mari said leaving the room.

"I mean I don't smoke pot, I smoke cigs all the time I must have at least 20 packs a day…" Higsby said following her out of the door.

"Did you notice anything weird about him?" Mayl asked Lan.

"Oh your talking…um…sure." Lan said only half paying attention.

"Oh Lan why won't you love me…I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME!" Mayl thought on the inside.

"Hey Mayl, you look like you are bottling up some wicked emotions." Lan said noticing Mayl getting red in the face.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE YOU STUPID BASTARD!" She yelled as she went across the room.

"I don't think I deserved that." Lan said as he went to where Dex was standing talking to another random student.

"A…B…C…D…E…F...G…H…Man I can't get all these chip codes, they are so hard to memorize." The kid said.

"Let me ask you a question, do you know your alphabet?" Lan asked.

"No" Dex said.

"Shut the hell up Dex I wasn't talking to you." Lan said.

"Yeah I know my alphabet…why?" the kids asked.

"No, reason…good luck with those chip codes." Lan said walking off as the bell rang and the children went back to their seats.

"Damn, that woman sure smokes a lot huh." Higsby said as he walked back into the room.

"Good morning Mr. Higsby!" Everyone yelled.

"Shut up, it is now time for study hall, do these math drill I have…things to do huh. But before I do, Jack in! Huh" Higsby yelled as he did a twirl and jacked in to the blackboard.

"Why did you twirl?" Yai asked.

"Dramatic effect you stupid little girl huh." Higsby said as he left the room.

"Douche." Yai said.

"ERROR ERROR ERROR!" The blackboard yelled in an automated voice.

"What the hell is this about?" Lan said, as a silhouette of a sinister looking bald man appeared on the blackboard which apparently doubled as a screen.

"Greetings students…I am the leader of the WWW…I'm sure you have heard of us by now. We are going to take over the world…what, no I didn't order BEEPing Chinese…wait what was that beep?" He was talking to someone in the room with him, but they couldn't be heard.

"You bought a censored video feed What the BEEP, we are a BEEPing terrorist group, you think you could spring for some BEEPing luxury you stupid BEEP! I mean is it so hard to ask for some BEEPing good help I mean what the BEEP do I pay you for? I mean what the BEEP are you good for if you can't buy a BEEPing regular video feed. BEEP!" The person said.

"Hey chill out man" Lan said.

"Who the BEEP said that? Which one of you little BEEPs was it! I swear to god I will find you and personally BEEP you up!" The person said.

"Asshole." Lan said.

"Anyway before I was reminded of BEEPing cheap my subordinates are I was saying that we have taken over your school networks and there isn't a BEEP…I hate those BEEPing beeps…thing you can do about it." He said as he disappeared from the screen.

"That isn't good!" Lan said sounding shocked.

"What are we going to do?" Mayl asked.

"Let's ask Megaman…hey Megaman!" Lan asked turning on his PET screen.

"Lan!" Megaman said tossing something behind him.

"Megaman…what were you looking at?" Lan asked.

"Nothing…it certainly wasn't a combination of pictures Roll sent me of herself and a new CD of Hannah Montana if that is what you were thinking." Megaman said.

"OK I wasn't, but that isn't the problem…someone has taken over the school network!" Lan yelled.

"Umm…so what is the problem why don't you just leave?" Megaman asked.

"The doors are locked! We can't escape!" A random girl screamed from across the room.

"That reason!" Lan said.

"Break a damn window and jump out." Megaman said.

"No…how about you go into the network and do something." Lan said.

"How about you go screw yourself." Megaman said.

"Don't worry punks me and Gutsman will handle it!" Dex said running at the board.

"See, Gutsman can handle it." Megaman said.

"You just want to see him get hurt and possibly die." Lan said.

"I don't ask for much do I?" Megaman asked.

"Yeah kill that virus…good work Gutsman!" Dex yelled.

"Damn right good work I am a straight up beast bitches!" Gutsman yelled as everyone gathered around Dex.

"He does realize he is killing progs that work at the school doesn't he?" Yai asked.

"Quite honestly I don't think he does." Lan said.

"Look a weird helmet wearing enemy!" Dex yelled.

"You mean a Mettaur?" Lan asked.

"I'll make you squeal bitch!" Gutsman yelled.

"Yeah, YEAH…what is it doing? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dex yelled.

"I should feel sad that he got beat…but I don't." Megaman said laughing.

"Well that means you're up Megaman." Lan said.

"DAMN IT GUTSMAN!" Megaman yelled.

"Hey take Roll's chip with you." Mayl said handing the chip to Lan.

"If I wanted to see Roll I would just take these pictures here and…umm…Thank you for the chip!" Megaman said.

"JACK IN MEGAMAN EXECUTE!" Lan yelled.

"Just plug me in damn it!" Megaman yelled as he was sent into the schools network to face unknown horrors.

END OF CHAPTER

Well, it took me awhile to update this. I have been trying to finish Silent Hill 4 Prequels suck but hey I felt I needed to update this story. Plus I have been playing Megaman Star Force 1 and 2 so it got me in the Megaman mood again. I hope to update this more often, but with my random updates who knows when it will happen again. Oh well, I hope I will update again soon!


	5. That's Numberman

Chapter 5

That's Numberman

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story in the slightest.

"Well here I am solving everybody's problems again…I hope they don't expect me to do this often." Megaman groaned as he began to look around the school network.

"Hey mega baby" a female said.

"I only know one person who calls me mega and doesn't get shot!" Megaman said excited as he turned around. There stood a female navi in a pink jumpsuit and had some of the weirdest ponytails in the history of the earth.

"So baby come to this place often" she joked.

"Only when I am forced to kill things for no pay…so now and then." He said.

"Well you had better be careful in here…I hear this navi is pretty powerful." Roll said.

"How powerful can a nerdy navi be?" Megaman said.

On the other side of the cyber space.

"OH MY GOD THE AMOUNT OF INFORMATION HERE IS OVERWHELMING!" a Green navi yelled he also had an afro made of lights.

"Hey Numberman do you have the program huh?" Higsby asked through the PET.

"Yeah, I have it…do you want anything else?" Numberman asked.

"No but I have received a bit of Intel saying that the blue navi that defeated Fireman is here huh." Higsby said.

"So, Fireman was a wuss I am twice as powerful as he is, and I have redesigned the security system here, he will never get here anyway." Numberman said.

"Well try to find the info on where the next program is huh." Higsby said.

Back to Megaman.

"Damn it I wish roll would have stayed with me." Megaman complained because Roll had decided to go back and keep Mayl safe…however that is going to work. Suddenly Megaman came to a cyber door that looked like it was made of lasers.

"Stop you cannot pass unless you have the code…and the number isn't three!" the door yelled.

"Is it three?" Megaman asked.

"DAMN IT HOW DID YOU KNOW?" The door yelled as it vanished.

"Lucky guess." Megaman said as he walked on.

"HALT!" Another door yelled.

"I can see this is going to get old really quick." Megaman said annoyed.

"I am locked by a number that most definitely isn't seven." It said in a matter fact way.

"Seven" Megaman said.

"DAMN YOU!" The door yelled as it vanished.

Over where Numberman is.

"My lord how is he getting past my defenses…they are perfect, I designed them!" Numberman said as he watched Megaman progress.

"Numberman do you have anything new to report huh?" Higsby asked.

"Well that blue navi is coming and breaking my defenses…he must be a genius or something!" Numberman yelled in shock.

Back to Megaman

"So you telling me the combination isn't the sum of two plus two?" Megaman asked.

"Yes." The door answered.

"So the combination is four?" Megaman asked.

"Yeah." The door said before disappearing.

"This is pretty easy" Megaman said laughing to himself.

Meanwhile at Wily's base.

"I mean come on you made me look like a damn fool!" Wily yelled.

"I'm sorry sir." A female with pink hair said.

"Ah whatever…HIGSBY!" Wily yelled as Hisby's face appeared on a screen.

"Yes sir huh." Higsby said.

"Anything new to report to me?" Wily asked.

"Well that navi is here and causing some problems but I am sending you the program as we speak…huh." Higsby said.

"Ah good work, so now what are you going to do to make you escape?" Wily asked.

"Well I thought about using this machine gun I brought here to carve a bloody path out of the building huh." Higsby said.

"What! No! We are a cyber terrorist group not an actual terrorist group! We commit cyber crimes and the occasional petty crime but we don't ever kill anyone!" Wily yelled.

"Fine I will just leave then huh." Higsby said as his face disappeared from the screen.

"I think that guy is a nut case…and have you ever noticed he says huh a lot?" Wily said.

"Yeah…he is an odd duck." The female said again.

Back to where Megaman is.

"Christ how deep does this place go…am I going to somehow find a way up the lunch ladies ass!" Megaman yelled very frustrated. Then the lights turned off.

"Eep…Lan…the lights went off." Megaman said afraid.

"One of the computers must have turned off I will go see where it is." Lan said over his PET.

"HURRY THE HELL UP!" Megaman yelled, he was afraid of the dark somewhat.

In the real world.

"So where do you think the network crash is?" Lan asked Mayl who was following him…as usual.

"I don't know…I only have one thing on my mind at all times." She said looking at him.

"Yeah that's great…hey isn't that Higsby?" Lan said.

"Oh shit how did you get out huh?" Higsby said confused.

"We pulled the door open, you forgot to lock it. Dex just thought the door was a push open." Lan said rolling his eyes.

"No hard feelings right huh?" Higsby asked. Lan then kicked him right in the crotch.

"Not anymore." Lan said walking by Higsby who was on the ground in pain. As Mayl walked by she kicked him too.

"OW! Why did you do that huh?" Higsby said.

"You made my lannie poo mad." Mayl said.

"Don't ever call me that." Lan said as he entered a room.

"Is this where the computer is?" Mayl asked.

"Yeah…alright it is back on. Hey Megaman are things better there?" Lan asked.

"Yeah…I wasn't scared by the way." Megaman said.

"Sure…just find that navi." Lan said.

"You know Lan, we are in here alone…we could, well you know." She closed her eyes and tried to kiss him. Instead she heard the door slam.

"You will be mine Lan…oh yes, you will be mine." Mayl said following him.

Back on the net.

"My god this place drags on forever!" Megaman yelled.

"Oh shit!" Numberman yelled as he saw Megaman approaching.

"Thank god!" Megaman said pulling out his buster so he could end this and go home. Right when Megaman fired another door came up.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Feel the superior intelligence of your opponent! You will never get pass this door because it needs a special key, so you can kiss my green navi as!" Numberman yelled as he danced around.

Back in the real world.

"Mrs. Mari!" Lan yelled as he found her lying down in the teachers lounge.

"Lan? Why aren't you in class?" Mrs. Mari asked.

"Did Higsby do this to you?" Lan asked.

"Uhh…yeah I totally didn't pass out on my own do to drinking on my break…it was Higsby." Mrs. Mari said.

"Ohhhh…what does this do?" Mayl said as she grabbed a key and swiped it through a mechanism on the desk.

"You know I can turn a blind eye if you guys came in here to do something." Mrs. Mari said.

"Why what would me and Mayl do in a room alone?" Lan asked.

"You are an idiot aren't you?" Mrs. Mari asked.

Back in cyberspace.

"You can't get me You can't get me ha ha ha ha ha ha!" Numberman danced around when suddenly the door vanished.

"You were saying?" Megaman said as he walked toward Numberman. The next thing Megaman new he was in the tiled room where all fights happen.

"Just once can't I deliver a regular ass beating?" Megaman asked annoyed.

"Be prepared to die in the face of my superior tactics…suck on my balls!" Numberman yelled as he shot three balls that had the numbers ten, twenty, and one on them, one each.

"This attack is impossible to block and it will kill you in an explosive manner upon one of them touching you." Numberman gloated. Megaman shot the ball with the number one on it and it promptly vanished.

"Well…how about this?" Numberman yelled as he threw something.

"Oh crap it's a…a dice?" Megaman said confused.

"Not just a dice." Numberman said as he pushed a button and the dice exploded.

"Ow…Ok now I'm pissed." Megaman said as he began shooting at Numberman.

"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWO PLEASE STOP!" Numberman yelled as he just sat there and took every shot.

"Let me think about it…NO!" Megaman yelled as he shot a final shot.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Numberman yelled as he began to explode.

"Who has the most intellect now bitch?" Megaman said in a badass way as he jacked out.

A few hours later.

"So the person responsible for this was this pathetic man on the ground here." The cop asked Lan. Higsby just looked at the ground ashamed.

"No…it was the gym teacher. I think he had a gun you might have to use excessive force." Lan said.

"You heard the child let's move." The police man said to his partners as they pulled out their nightsticks and ran down the hall.

"Why did you lie for me huh?" Higsby asked.

"Because you wouldn't last a second in jail, also you don't look like the evil type, so I just guessed you were being used." Lan said.

"Well, I was getting paid, but they did threaten to kill me if I didn't help them." Higsby said.

"See." Lan said.

"Thank you…I owe you one now Lan huh." Higsby said as he left.

"Damn right you do." Lan said as screams of the gym teacher getting hit with nightsticks could be heard.

"So…this boy again." Chaud said.

"Umm…Chaud, that guy walking away is Higsby…the wanted criminal." A red navi said through the PET.

"I don't care Protoman!" Chaud yelled.

"You are staring at that Lan kid again…um is there something you are hiding?" Protoman asked.

"Why does everyone think I am gay?" Chaud yelled.

"Well you just seem to be rather interested in him…all you really have to do is talk to him." Protoman said snickering.

"Shut the hell up Protoman, and have everyone keep watch on this boy…he could get in our way." Chaud said.

"Yeah because all of the other officials don't already." Protoman said sarcastically.

Meanwhile at Wily's base.

"So…Higsby has been caught huh?" Wily said.

"Why did you just say huh?" The girl from before said.

"Shut the hell up and answer my question!" Wily yelled.

"Yes, last know report says the cops were on their way to the school." She said.

"Shit! What a loser, oh well I have a better plan next time." Wily said.

"What is it sir?" She asked.

"Oh you'll see…you'll see….MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Wily laughed manically.

END OF CHAPTER

Well it took sometime because my other computer died, but it is up! Thank you for all the reviews last chapter, they made want to update this instead of my other story. So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please review.


	6. Rock Hard Problems

Chapter 6

Rock Hard Problems

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this chapter…I wish I did though.

It had been a couple of days since that weird lunatic took over the school with his nerdiness and it was now Saturday, thus leaving Lan nothing to do.

"Damn it is boring…never thought I would miss school." Lan said as he tossed a pencil up in air stuck it in the ceiling out of boredom.

"Well you could always check your e-mail…that is always interesting." Megaman said also kind of bored.

"Yeah why not…let's see I have one from Mayl." Lan said.

"Well what does it say?" Megaman asked, he always loved to hear these.

"Lan just thought I would let you know, if you were interested that is, that no one is going to be my house this weekend, you could, you know come over and well…I let you figure out the rest. Love Mayl." Lan read.

"Well…sounds like she really wants you in her house." Megaman said trying not to laugh.

"I have a question…does Mayl even have parents?" Lan asked.

"…I don't know." Megaman thought for a second.

"I mean I have lived next to her all my life and I've never once seen them…hmmm…I've got it!" Lan exclaimed.

"Really? Why don't you ever see her parents?" Megaman asked.

"Who's parents? You know what it doesn't matter because we are going to dad's office!" Lan exclaimed.

"Why would we want to go there?" Megaman asked.

"Because the powers that be told me so." Lan said.

"What powers that be?" Megaman asked.

"No time for that we must go post haste!" Lan said as he grabbed his PET and put it in his pocket.

"Oh well free time for me." Megaman said as he turned the PET screen off.

"Mom! I'm going to dad's office!" Lan shouted, his mom was passed out on the couch with a bottle of vodka in her hand.

"What a saint." Lan said as he walked outside. Lan walked to the train station but when he got there it appeared to be closed as there was an Official standing in front of the staircase.

"Ummm…excuse me can I get on the train?" Lan asked.

"No…this train station is under Official investigation and as an Official myself I cannot let any non-Official people into the Official crime scene." The Official said in a strict sounding voice.

"Okay, um what seems to be the problem?" Lan asked.

"Well according to my Official information in my Official file I hold in my Official hands, it would seem a land slide has blocked the train tracks and they have dispatched Officials to clear the train tracks." The Official spoke again in his strict voice.

"Can I go help with the land slide?" Lan asked.

"Ha ha ha, it will be a cold day in hell whenever us Officials get shown up by a little boy. Besides the landslide is on the cyber metro, thus having no impact on the actual metro itself, we just love to close things off to seem important." The Official spoke with some laughter this time.

"Fine, I'll just send Megaman to do the work." Lan said as he walked away.

"I think that was the boy that Chaud wanted us to look into…I guess they seem compatible but I don't know I think Chaud could do so much higher than that loser." The Official thought to himself.

"Now to send Megaman online." Lan said whenever he got back into his room.

"Megaman!" Lan yelled and turned on the PET screen.

"Now back to hot Navi sluts with hot guns." A females voice said.

"What are you watching?!" Lan asked shocked.

"AH! NOTHING IT'S NOTHING!" Megaman yelled as he turned off his T.V.

"You make me sick." Lan said.

"You'll understand when your balls finally drop." Megaman said under his breath.

"What?"

"Nothing what do you want?" Megaman asked.

"I need you to go on line and go to the cyber metro." Lan said.

"Fine let's just get this over with." Megaman said.

"Jack in Megaman exe…"

"Just plug me in already Damn it!" Megaman interrupted.

"Fine." Lan said as he plugged his PET into his computer.

"Ah…finally free from my small prison." Megaman said as he stretched.

"That feels good! I wonder what Roll is doing?" Megaman thought to himself.

"Don't forget the cyber metro." Lan said from the real world.

"Hey I don't tell you how to live your life! Let me enjoy my freedom….hard ass." Megaman said walking off.

"Hey would you like to buy some chips? Best in town!" a sales navi hollered.

"Sod off idiot, I only take chips off my enemies corpse." Megaman said as he kept walking.

"Asshole." The sales navi said. Megaman navigated the tiny walkways until he came to a large cube blocking his way.

"What the hell is this?" Megaman said staring at the cube.

"Dex's cube no passing without my permission. Damn it Dex!" Megaman yelled.

"What's wrong?" Lan asked.

"There is a damn cube blocking the only way to the cyber metro, and that fat bastard Dex put it here!" Megaman said furious.

"Well let me call him real quick." Lan said.

"No I have an idea. HEY GUTSMAN GET YOUR FAT ASS OUT HERE AND LET ME THROUGH!" Megaman yelled.

"What do you want bitch!" Gutsman hollered from a teleportation pad to the left of the cube.

"I want you to get your tubby ass over here and open the damn cube!" Megaman yelled.

"Well if you give me a recover fifty I might open it for yo' bitch ass." Gutsman said.

"How about this instead, you can open the cube or I will jack out and come into your PC and beat the shit out of you until you do open it…either way I win!" Megaman said.

"I'd like to see you try!" Gutsman yelled.

"Oh just you wait!" Megaman said as he ran off.

"Pfft whatever." Gutsman said as he went back to his homepage.

"That little punk ain't gonna' come over here and start shit." Gutsman said.

"Who are you calling a punk?" Megaman said as he stormed up to Gutsman.

"How did you get here so fast?" Gutsman said scared.

"I am so going to enjoy this." Megaman said as he dived at Gutsman.

Due to the extreme violence of this scene we cannot show it.

"YES! That was so awesome!" Megaman said as he wiped the blood off his face. Gutsman lay at his feet bleeding from his face.

"Mercy!" Gutsman pleaded.

"Open the cube and I will think about it." Megaman said.

"Here take this code it will open the cube, also take this chip…just don't hurt me!" Gutsman pleaded.

"Thanks…now was that so hard?" Megaman asked.

"No." Gutsman groaned.

"Good just one last thing." Megaman pulled out a camera and took a picture.

"Should make a great Christmas card." Megaman said walking off.

"I'm gonna' get him one day." Gutsman said rolling a pool of his own blood.

"Right so here we go the code is…Jonas brothers rock? That Dex kid has issues." Megaman said as he pushed the code in and went through to the next area. He wandered around for a little while until he found the metro platform with an orange navi standing on it.

"Halt, this is Official business all non-Officials must immediately leave this Official area and…."

"Shut up!" Megaman said as he pushed the Official navi out of the way.

"Jerk off." The Official navi said.

"Right so this is the land slide, nothing my gun won't fix." Megaman said,

"Not so fast squirt." The rock pile said.

"Did the rock pile just talk?" Megaman asked himself.

"I am not just a rock pile!" The pile of rocks reformed into a large imposing navi, with beady yellow eyes and a square body as well as a square head. Most of the stones were green but the top was a maroon color. Also none of his body parts were connected but they were held in the right place my some unknown force.

"I am WWW operative number three !" Stoneman yelled.

"Did you just mean to rhyme?" Megaman asked.

"No…it just kind of happened." Stoneman said.

"So why are you here?" Megaman asked.

"I am acting out lord Wily's plot to take over the world, by sitting here and blocking off the train I am crushing the transportation system!" Stoneman yelled for no real reason.

"So…you are sitting on the train tracks just to be a mild inconvenience? I mean you aren't here as a distraction so some WWW troops can sneak into some secret headquarters and steal all of the information regarding our national security?" Megaman asked.

"Nope…just here to stop the trains." Stoneman said.

"Well, be that as it may I am still going to have kill you so I can get the real life trains running again." Megaman said.

"Just try and I will knock you down!" Stoneman said.

"Worst…terrorist group….ever." Megaman said as he readied his buster.

END OF CHAPTER

Sorry it took so long for me to update, college has been throwing work at me a lot. But I finally caught a break and decided I might as well do it while the doin' is good…if that makes any sense. I hope to have some more chapters up for this soon that way I can be a good ways into this when I start my new story in the Silent Hill section. But that won't be until at least January, so hopefully I can update between now and January. I hope you guys enjoyed the new chapter.


	7. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Chapter 7

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story so please do not ask me.

As we last left Megaman he had challenged Stoneman who had blocked the rail ways in order to…well block the railways.

"Before we start are you sure there wasn't any other reason you blocked off the railways?" Megaman asked standing on his red tiles.

"Nope…just blocking the train tracks. Lord Wily said it was crucial to success." Stoneman said.

"Fine, bring it on then!" Megaman shouted at Stoneman as he prepared himself for an attack.

"Gladly!" Stoneman said as a block appeared on the back of Megaman's side of the battlefield. Megaman waited for awhile but nothing happened.

"Does this thing…do anything?" Megaman asked.

"Not really…I mostly use it as a shield." Stoneman said.

"But it is behind me…what good is that!?" Megaman yelled confused.

"I said I use it as a shield I never said I could control where it went." Stoneman said.

"I never thought I would see the day when Gutsman would be made to look strong, but here it is." Megaman said in shock.

"Are you making fun of me?" Stoneman asked.

"Yes, yes I am." Megaman said.

"Now you have gone and pissed me off!" Stoneman yelled as he hit the ground with his giant hands.

"Aw is the little baby mad? Does the baby want a…why am I suddenly standing in a shadow?" Megaman asked as he looked up and saw a boulder falling very quickly towards him.

"Shit!" Megaman yelled as he dove out of the way.

""How did you like that?" Stoneman gloated.

"Okay so you aren't completely useless…but I am getting a little bored of this, so I am just going to kill you now." Megaman said as he shot Stoneman in the face.

"Ouch that hurt!" Stoneman yelled in pain.

"Well yeah…it is kind of meant to." Megaman said as he began to repeatedly shoot Stoneman in the face.

Meanwhile on the other side of town at Yai's house

"Yai, do you think Lan likes me?" Mayl asked. She was sitting on the floor while Yai was sitting on her bed.

"Mayl I think Lan is as dumb as a mule. As a matter of fact the only one dumber than him is Dex." Yai said.

"But…do you think he likes me?" Mayl asked.

"If I said yes would you stop asking me?" Yai asked.

"I guess." Mayl said.

"Then yes Mayl his love for you is as large as Dex's appetite, which we all know is endless." Yai said.

"YEAH!" Mayl squealed as she fell over.

"Glyde do you understand this girl?" Yai asked her Navi.

"Not in the slightest. But you had best agree with her Ms. Yai there is no telling what she is capable of." Glyde said in his camp British voice.

"That is very true. But, seriously though what is wrong with her?" Yai asked.

"Well I recall asking Roll once and she said something about how Lan found her lost doll when they were five, and since then she has followed him around like a lost puppy." Glyde said.

"So he helper her and she began to stalk him, and since he is an idiot he doesn't even realize it?" Yai asked.

"Seems to be the case, Roll says it doesn't bother her because her and Megaman get to…well I can't tell you that part." Glyde said stopping abruptly.

"Why not!?" Yai yelled, Mayl still squealing in joy.

"Navi's cannot reveal how we breed. I can say this though it feels great, also while Megaman and Roll are together that is all they do usually." Glyde said.

"Fine be a douche then!" Yai yelled.

"So Yai…"Mayl said after she had finally stopped squealing.

"Yes Mayl." Yai responded.

"Doe Lan REALLY like me?" Mayl asked.

"Damn it all to hell." Yai said.

Meanwhile in the fight between Megaman and Stoneman.

"Holy crap…why are you not dead yet?" Megaman asked. He had shot Stoneman for five straight minuets and not only was he still standing he hadn't even move.

"I am made of stone, I don't die easily." Stoneman said.

"But why haven't you moved…surely these shots have hurt you." Megaman said.

"Oh they've hurt…I just can't move. Wily forgot to finish my legs so now I have to be moved around by him." Stoneman said.

"Wow…you really are pathetic aren't you?" Megaman asked.

"Pathetic enough to do this!" Stoneman said as a little statue started to rise out of the panel in front of him.

"Okay…this is new. But what the hell is it?" Megaman asked. The moment he finished the little statue fired a giant laser.

"HOLY SHIT!" Megaman yelled as he dove out of the way.

"Ha Ha how did you like that!" Stoneman laughed.

"That's it…now I'M pissed. Megaman said as his buster changed into a sword.

"Megaman I sent you a sword, wide sword, and a long sword so finish this already." Lan said sounding bored.

"Well I got one sword, but it isn't what you described…it's different." Megaman said confused.

"How so?" Lan asked.

"Well it is a giant glowing sword with the range of the wide and long sword combined…it's also glowing." Megaman said staring at the sword in awe.

"Well what the hell are you staring at it for…swing the damn thing!" Lan yelled.

"I am…asshole." Megaman said.

"Ha I am the mighty Stoneman you can't defeat me with a swo…."Stoneman didn't get to finish. With one swing Megaman chopped Stoneman in half.

"Bad ass!" Megaman said looking at where the sword was, as it had vanished after the attack.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO LORD WILY!" Stoneman yelled as he exploded.

"And that is why you don't screw with me!" Megaman said as the cyber metro became operational again. He promptly jacked out. As soon as he was gone a Protoman walked up to where Megaman just stood.

"Amazing…he can wield the power of the program advance!" Protoman said surprised.

"Well what did you expect? His operator is that kid." Chaud said.

"Yeah, I figured you would say something like that, you're his number one fan right?" Protoman said.

"Shut up! I'm just interested in him that's all." Chaud said.

"I bet you are." Protoman chuckled.

"I MEAN HIS PROGRESS!" Chaud yelled.

"Whatever you said Chaud." Protoman said still chuckling.

"Screw you! Do you see anything abnormal around?" Chaud asked.

"No, just bits of stone laying everywhere." Protoman said.

"So they weren't after an elemental program here? What the hell were they doing?" Chaud asked.

Meanwhile at the WWW HQ.

"So Mr. President as you can see we have blocked off the trains and there is not a damn thing you can do about it!" Wily said to a sort of chubby bald man on a screen.

"I see I have no choice, I hereby appoint Dr. Wily to dictator of the…" The president began to say.

"The railways are free sir." A random official said walking into the room.

"president of the kiss my ass club." The President said turning off his side of the screen.

"No my plan has failed…I was seconds away from ruling the world! What the hell happened!?" Wily yelled.

"Stoneman was killed." The pink haired woman said.

"Damn it, oh well my next plan is full proof." Wily said.

Meanwhile at SciLab

"Hello little boy what may I help you with?" The receptionist asked.

"Yes I am looking for Yuichiro Hikari, I'm his son." Lan said.

"Oh…well aren't you cute." The receptionist said.

"Don't patronize me woman." Lan said.

"He is up in his lab last I checked." She said.

"Okay thank you." Lan said walking off. He got aboard an elevator rode it up several floors and reached his dad's office.

"Hi dad!" Lan yelled as he saw his father.

"Lan what the hell…I mean hi son!" Dr. Hikari said smiling.

"I came to see what was up, and you better be grateful because I had to kill an annoying rock to get here." Lan said.

"I had to kill the rock thank you very much." Megaman said from inside the PET.

"Hi Mega, things going well?" Dr. Hikari asked.

"About as well as things could be I guess. Got to beat up Gutsman today so I guess I can't complain." Megaman said.

"Excellent! Unfortunately I am about to have to go to a meeting so why don't you go home and tell your mother I am going to be late for dinner and not to wait up." Dr. Hikari said.

"Okay bye." Lan sighed and turned around as the receptionist walked in.

"Wait what kind of meeting is it where you have to talk to the receptionist?" Lan asked.

"Top secret information that must never leave this room…now get out." Dr. Hikari said.

"Fine!" Lan said as he began to leave.

"Don't forget my allowance!" Megaman yelled.

"I won't!" Dr. Hikari yelled back before the door shut. Some music began to play once the door closed.

"What does my dad pay you for?" Lan asked.

"Keeping the house clean of viruses, making sure things work, keeping his secret affair a secret…you know the usual." Megaman said.

"Yeah…wait what was that last one." Lan asked.

"Water the plants." Megaman said covering up what he just said.

"You can't water the plants that means…" Lan said figuring things out.

"Damn maybe he isn't as stupid as I thought he was." Megaman thought to himself.

"You get paid for nothing!" Lan said.

"Oh damn you caught me." Megaman breathed a sigh of relief.

"You are crafty." Lan said.

"More than you know." Megaman chuckled.

"Well let's go home!" Lan said. they left the building and got aboard the metro and started to ride home. But little did they know there were troubles on the horizon.

END OF CHAPTER

So it has been awhile, but now I'm on Christmas vacation so I hope I can get more chapters up. I also have had ideas for another story; it would still be in the Megaman section. It is a parody of Mega Man X. So let me know what you guys think of that idea. I have a poll for it on my profile so head on over there and vote so I can see if people like the idea or not. I hope you all enjoyed the update!


End file.
